How to read antique car ads!!!

If the ad reads… It probably means…

All original … Everything is worn out!

Never driven in winter… Won’t start in the cold!

Rust free… No extra charge for the rust!

Always garaged… Won’t shift into reverse to take out!

Driven only on weekends… A quarter of a mile at a time on Saturday nights!

Fully restored… Thirty pounds of bondo, a $50.00 paint job, and two quarts of Armor All

Looks Good … Runs bad!

Runs Good… Looks terrible!

Never been hit… by an elephant or the space station, Mir. These are the only two items that haven’t hit it!

First place show winner… It was the only car in its class!